Fast Food Freddy: Quesalupa Fails to Ring My Bell

Loneliness and tacos are a dangerous mix.

 Fred Albertson

I am a very busy guy. Far too busy, in fact, to be troubled with the annoyances of freshly prepared meals -- or nutrition. Far too busy to waste my precious time analyzing fast food for you -- but duty compels me. 

This week, I feasted upon the oft marketed Quesalupa, Taco Bell's brave new taco-hybrid, and the Spanish word for Cheese Magnifying Glass. 

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First off, you people know Taco Bell isn't Mexican food, right? It was founded by a dude from California named Glen Bell. So, alas, I walk into the North Providence location for this ethnic impostor, and am confronted with aggressive signage:

New! $1 Cravings Menu! Formerly known as "Regret for a Buck."

Limited Time: Loaded Potato Grillers! Now, that sounds like an authentic Mexican dish!

Then Finally:

So, I ordered my Quesalupa -- with chicken rather than beef-- actually I opted for the combo meal, which came with a crunchy taco and a large soda for $6.39. Not a bad deal. And honestly, the overhaul that Taco Bell billed as a chalupa with a pepper jack-stuffed shell, the Quesalupa certainly tries hard. But is the effort worth the hype?

Meh.

They should have had me at "cheese-stuffed," but they didn't.

I tried to pull my Quesalupa apart as pictured above, but all that happened was crumbs. The cheese stuffing was hardly noticeable. As far as flavor goes, it wasn't bad. I felt no regret over my dinner choice, which is a rarity when ordering Taco Bell while sober. 

​While certainly edible, the Quesalupa does very little to break the mold. In fact, it is essentially a quesadilla folded like a taco. And not even a very good one. 

As Advertised

In Real Life