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It’s that time of year where everyone is recovering from overindulgence of the holidays. I put on a hearty 12 pounds this year, and earned every inch. Damn straight, I loaded up on rich foods, more booze than you should drink in a year, much less the five weeks of Thanksgiving to New Years. Oh, and there was bacon – lots of it. It was also a time where I enjoyed several days in a row off, like a human being. And just when you thought it was over…nope! The Super Bowl is happening soon, and what better way to counteract your two weeks of clean eating and joining a gym that is always packed full of grunting orange people? No, that’s not racist. It’s what I call people that fake-tan.
It’s safe to say I don’t have a clue with the rules of football, understand why they make as much money they do or generally care too much about the sport. But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to watch part of the game and definitely the half-time show! Maybe even some commercials…I don’t even know if there will be enough time! I enjoy a good Super Bowl party. It’s an opportunity for friends to get together, relax and overeat, and lie to themselves about how they’re “not going to be hungover tomorrow for work,” even though they show up like a bag of dicks at the office Monday morning. Parties are awesome! Here are a few things that will make your experience a little more enjoyable, according to me. I am not a football expert, but I sure as hell know how to have a good time.
Bring something. Don’t be “that guy” and show up empty-handed…it’s amazing how far a few bags of ice will go. Bring a dish or a bottle to share. If you’re drinking, contribute!
If you’re cooking, do it up. Make something rad that will be the envy of everyone elses dishes. No, you don’t want to upstage the ribs I will be having this year, but put some effort into it. People always notice when you take pride in what you do. On that note, here’s a recipe for cheesy jalapeno cornbread – mix 2-4 boxes of Jiffy cornbread mix and add sliced jalapenos and cubed Velveeta cheese. It’s ridiculous, easy and always a crowd-pleaser.
Don’t be the overzealous fan. There’s nothing like a conversation being shot down like Justin Bieber’s career than some dude screaming in your face. We get you’re excited. Don’t have an aneurism. Also, neck veins creep me out.
Place your bets. Even if you don’t know the difference between an elbow and your asshole with football, put some money down! I once put $20 and cleaned house with $400. Go for it. Gambling is awesome in this situation.
Turn plays and commercials into contests and drinking games. It’s like every time you see incest in Game of Thrones, DRINK. Pick something rad and go for it. Vote on the best commercial. Be social. Get off your phone and have some conversations. Seriously, what are you hash-tagging?!
Get a DD. If you’re drinking, be reasonable. Be safe. Be careful out there…and enjoy the Super Bowl!
More Party Tips
I think, besides the biggest TV you can get, there are only two major items to consider when planning your "Big Game" party: food and booze.
Now you can break out the burgers and dogs and the ole stand by brews, but I prefer to take it one step further. Here's a sampling of just a few of the essentials to make your party unique and memorable. Let's start with a few regional, notable brews, Seattle, you have Odin Brewing Company's "Thor's Equinox" or some of Freemont Brewings "Abominable Winter Ale". On the Denver side you could go with Strange Brewings "Vanilla Rum Porter' or Prost's "Doppelbock". Now these might be hard to find in your area so you could always hit up the macro brews like Red Hook out of Seattle or Brecken Ridge from the "Mile High City".
And of course you'll need some food to soak up the booze in hopes of making it to the end of the game. Once again let's go regional to the two teams and hit up some signature dishes. How about some dungeness crab, Pacific salmon or some Washington oysters for Seattle? For Denver some Rainbow trout or the infamous Rocky Mountain Oysters (just give them to your friends and don't tell them until after what they really are)
As you can see there's many ways to spice up your Big Game Sunday. Just make sure my beer is cold and plentiful. By the way, I'll be over early.
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