How I’m Gonna Make My Super bowl Party Better Than Yours - Help From The Staff

Dr. Pepper
2 Girls 1 Mic

It’s that time of year where everyone is recovering from overindulgence of the holidays.  I put on a hearty 12 pounds this year, and earned every inch.  Damn straight, I loaded up on rich foods, more booze than you should drink in a year, much less the five weeks of Thanksgiving to New Years.  Oh, and there was bacon – lots of it.  It was also a time where I enjoyed several days in a row off, like a human being.  And just when you thought it was over…nope!  The Super Bowl is happening soon, and what better way to counteract your two weeks of clean eating and joining a gym that is always packed full of grunting orange people?  No, that’s not racist.  It’s what I call people that fake-tan.  
    It’s safe to say I don’t have a clue with the rules of football, understand why they make as much money they do or generally care too much about the sport.  But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to watch part of the game and definitely the half-time show!  Maybe even some commercials…I don’t even know if there will be enough time!  I enjoy a good Super Bowl party.  It’s an opportunity for friends to get together, relax and overeat, and lie to themselves about how they’re “not going to be hungover tomorrow for work,” even though they show up like a bag of dicks at the office Monday morning.  Parties are awesome!  Here are a few things that will make your experience a little more enjoyable, according to me.  I am not a football expert, but I sure as hell know how to have a good time.

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Bring something.  Don’t be “that guy” and show up empty-handed…it’s amazing how far a few bags of ice will go.  Bring a dish or a bottle to share.  If you’re drinking, contribute!
If you’re cooking, do it up.  Make something rad that will be the envy of everyone elses dishes.  No, you don’t want to upstage the ribs I will be having this year, but put some effort into it.  People always notice when you take pride in what you do.  On that note, here’s a recipe for cheesy jalapeno cornbread – mix 2-4 boxes of Jiffy cornbread mix and add sliced jalapenos and cubed Velveeta cheese.  It’s ridiculous, easy and always a crowd-pleaser.
Don’t be the overzealous fan.  There’s nothing like a conversation being shot down like Justin Bieber’s career than some dude screaming in your face.  We get you’re excited.  Don’t have an aneurism.  Also, neck veins creep me out.
Place your bets.  Even if you don’t know the difference between an elbow and your asshole with football, put some money down!  I once put $20 and cleaned house with $400.  Go for it. Gambling is awesome in this situation.
Turn plays and commercials into contests and drinking games.  It’s like every time you see incest in Game of Thrones, DRINK.  Pick something rad and go for it.  Vote on the best commercial.  Be social.  Get off your phone and have some conversations.  Seriously, what are you hash-tagging?!
Get a DD.  If you’re drinking, be reasonable.  Be safe.  Be careful out there…and enjoy the Super Bowl!

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More Party Tips

Joe Ferro
Age 40

I think, besides the biggest TV you can get, there are only two major items to consider when planning your "Big Game" party: food and booze.

Now you can break out the burgers and dogs and the ole stand by brews, but I prefer to take it one step further. Here's a sampling of just a few of the essentials to make your party unique and memorable. Let's start with a few regional, notable brews, Seattle, you have Odin Brewing Company's "Thor's Equinox" or some of Freemont Brewings "Abominable Winter Ale". On the Denver side you could go with Strange Brewings "Vanilla Rum Porter' or Prost's "Doppelbock". Now these might be hard to find in your area so you could always hit up the macro brews like Red Hook out of Seattle or Brecken Ridge from the "Mile High City".

And of course you'll need some food to soak up the booze in hopes of making it to the end of the game. Once again let's go regional to the two teams and hit up some signature dishes. How about some dungeness crab, Pacific salmon or some Washington oysters for Seattle? For Denver some Rainbow trout or the infamous Rocky Mountain Oysters (just give them to your friends and don't tell them until after what they really are)

As you can see there's many ways to spice up your Big Game Sunday. Just make sure my beer is cold and plentiful. By the way, I'll be over early.

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Alicia
Host of Raw Sex

I'm not a super big sports fan, but what I am a fan of is big, strong, sweaty men in tight clothing. I only attend super bowl parties if the Pats are in it, so it looks like I'll be home painting my toenails this year. BUT if I were to attend, I'd say the most important part to a good party is the guest list. Don't invite boring old farts, the roid raged neighbor who'll crush a can on someone's head cause his team is down and there's only a few minutes left in the quarter, or the Debby downer who cries cause their team lost. Secondly, Beer and Food. Cause when all else fails you're at least drunk and full which usually keeps everyone happy. Buffalo wings and sloppy BBQ mini weenies are a MUST! BUT I'd say the way to tell if the party was a success is the end result. If the next morning, you don't have a barf puddle in the front lawn, a strange man asleep on your couch with the losing teams mascot and a penis on his face, and sticky substances across the floor. Well my friend, your party sucked.

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Michael Gardiner
WBOB Writer & Host

Let there be passed cocktails and other refreshing beverages. Let there be passed h'our d'ouvres and craft sandwiches. Let there be various chips and dips and fruits to clean the pallet at hand and a crock of chili that is always fresh stirred and hot. Let there and deserts for every taste. And let there be a good game. That and some family and friends, your children and your sweetheart and what makes them happy, that's the whole shebang XLVIII.

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