Anthony Faccenda
Each holiday season, viewers can typically count on seeing their favorite Christmas movies on television. Whether it's NBC playing It's A Wonderful Life or the 24-hour A Christmas Story marathon on TBS -- viewers know what to expect. Aside from the must-see holiday movies that we all know and love, there's also a category of Christmas movies that are so bad that TV networks should never air them. Movies so horrible that you want to gouge your eyes out after watching them. Here are five such films. And what's more, they're all sequels to far superior originals.
5) The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause
Taking place 12 years after the original, Scott Calvin (Tim Allen) is now a full-time Santa living in the North Pole. His pregnant wife misses her folks, so Scott invites his in-laws to the North Pole under the guise that it's a Canadian retreat. Although Scott wants to entertain his relatives, things get complicated when he has to fight Jack Frost (Martin Short) to save Christmas. Suffice to say, the end result is unfunny and boring. The Santa Clause 3 was nominated for five Razzie Awards and presently has a Rotten Tomatoes score of 15 percent.
4) Christmas Vacation 2: Cousin Eddie's Island Adventure
A spin off of National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, Eddie (Randy Quaid) and his family get shipwrecked while on their way to a holiday vacation in the South Pacific in this 2003 movie. Aside from returning cast member Quaid, the movie also features Dana Barron and Miriam Flynn, who played Audrey and Catherine, respectively, in the 1983 Vacation film. By far the worst installment in the Vacation series, Christmas Vacation 2 was directed by prolific TV director Nick Marck whose credits include The Wonder Years, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Veronica Mars.
3) Jingle All the Way 2
There are just some things you should never do: One of which is to replace Arnold Schwarzenegger with Larry the Cable Guy. And that's exactly what 20th Century Fox and WWE Studios (yes, the movie division of the wrestling company) did when they released the direct-to-DVD movie Jingle All the Way 2. In this film, Larry the Cable guy plays, you guessed it, Larry, a father who is competing with his wife's new husband to find his daughter the perfect Christmas toy. Released in 2014, Jingle All the Way 2 marks the list time Larry the Cable guy was in a movie. Don't worry, though, because you'll probably see him this Christmas on TV starring in those Prilosec commercials.
2) A Christmas Story 2
A direct sequel to 1983's A Christmas Story, this film takes place six years after the events in the original and features a 15-year-old Ralphie who wants a 1939 Mercury for Christmas. While at a used car lot scoping out the car, Ralphie inadvertently causes a reindeer Christmas display to fall on the car. Ralphie and his friends then try to raise the money to fix the car before Christmas so they don't get in trouble. Released in 2012, A Christmas Story 2 has nothing to do with the writings of Jean Shepherd whose autobiographical stories inspired the original film. Interestingly, it's actually the third film in the series after 1994's A Summer Story, which did follow Shepherd's writings.
1) Home Alone 4: Taking Back the House
Did you know there have been four Home Alone films!? Don't lie and say you did, because there have actually been five movies. That's right. And the last one has nothing to do with the McCallister family and features a haunted house. In spite of that, 2002's Home Alone 4 makes our list because it's slightly worse than Home Alone 5. The first film in the franchise not to be released in theaters, Home Alone 4 centers on Kevin spending Christmas with his father and his rich girlfriend (his parents have divorced). While there, Kevin squares off with his arch nemesis Marv (French Stewart) and his new partner in crime Vera (Missi Pyle) in an attempt to defend his future stepmother's home. Home Alone 4 currently holds a 2.5/10 rating on IMDB and is the lowest rated film in the series. More WBOB Reads |
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