Do you know what’s worse than a tropical storm turned hurricane?  A hurricane that’s expected to be bigger and more severe.  And do you know what’s worse than that?  A “perfect storm” before Halloween.  Everything is scarier on Halloween, so everyone is thinking that it’ll be like Katrina with zombies.  You could believe that the storm is added on by restless spirits, since Halloween is the time where the barrier between the living and the dead is weakened.  Or you could believe it’s the wrath of a God who wants to cancel Halloween and piss on our Cheerios.  And we’re the Cheerios. 

But the way I see it, storms these days that come up to New England end up being nothing but a fluke.  I remember junior high years back was cancelled due to a hurricane.  I get up that morning, clear and sunny skies.  Like a typical attention whore who cries wolf, why should we take the media says so seriously anymore?  All they want is the attention to fill their shallow egos and getting a rise out of it.  But whatever you believe, look outside today and see for yourself.  Even though NE doesn’t get as many bad storms as the south, it can still happen

So my advice to you folks in NE riding the storm, ignore the media, listen to state advisories, and prepare for power outages and/or flooding.   It’s as Her Majesty’s officials say, “keep calm and brace for Frankenstorm.”

- "Demon" Matt Little

Pop Quiz Hotshot: You're in a walker-infested prison, you discover five surviving inmates trapped in the pantry, and the only doctor who can deliver your baby is bleeding out from a hatchet wound. What do you do?

The most recent installment of AMC's The Walking Dead picks up exactly where the premiere left off.  You have the freshly severed leg from Herschel sitting in the foreground, with a group of strange men behind steel partition as the backdrop.  The Grimes Tribe, along with the strange men all seem equally perplexed.

As it turns out, these five men were inmates at the prison during the outbreak, and became trapped in a confined space during the chaos.  Under these circumstances, it is difficult to describe the location of their confinement as lucky... but based on the fact that they had been trapped for over 10 months, I would say that they were very fortunate to be stuck in the prison's kitchen and pantry area.  They were well rationed with food and water, the only thing they lacked was a pot to piss in. (Don't worry, they had a system).

However, being confined and isolated, these five men were completely oblivious to the fact that the world around them had been obliterated.  Once they were released form the pantry, they quickly realize that the Grimes Crew are not the rescuers they had anticipated, but did ask to borrow a cell phone that they could contact their families (Silly inmates).  Rick and Daryll gave them a quick dose of reality, explaining that more than half the world's population has become walkers, and that everyone is infected.  Once the prisoners accept the state of their circumstance, they decide that they are much more comfortable within the confines of the prison... but Rick does not trust these criminals, nor is he comfortable with their presence.

While Rick Grimes was busy doing a Prison Break crossover, the folks in Cell Block C were busy tending to the unconscious one-legged Herschel.  This storyline was rather dull and uneventful, so let's not waste too much time analyzing it...  Here are the highlights:


* Herschel remained unconscious and unresponsive.  Unsure as to whether he would survive or pass on and return as a walker, Glenn handcuffed Herschel to the bed.

* Herschel had been training Carol to serve as his nurse for the delivery of Lori's child, from which she had learned some essential triage skills necessary to tend to the amputation wound.

* Needing more sterile medical supplies, Carl underwent a solo undercover mission to locate the infirmary, picking off a few walkers in the process.  He was able to successfully retrieve supplies, but Lori WAS NOT happy about this feat.

* Maggie seemed content to let Herschel pass, actually encouraging him to let go.  For a moment, it seemed that he took her advice, as he stopped breathing.  Lori sprung to action, and with a little mouth-to-mouth, was able to bring him back to life... as a human.

* Oh, and Carol killed a walker in the yard in order to practice her "emergency C-Section" skills... which must have seemed like completely normal behavior to the outsiders observing her. (Yeah, it was strongly suggested that they were being watched!

Meanwhile, in the next cell block, Rick Grimes was negotiating a severance package with the pantry prisoners.  He felt that these men were not trustworthy, and would not be assimilated into his tribe, so a deal was arranged... In exchange for 50% of the remaining food in the pantry, Rick and the Assassins would help clear out a cell block for the five stragglers. 

Rick provided the prisoners with blunt tools and taught them the proper techniques for neutralizing the walkers. Initially ignoring Rick's instruction, they quickly realize that Rick's advice was worth taking, and fell back into line. However one prisoner, Big Tiny, broke formation, resulting in a scratch from a walker. The other prisoners sought to quarantine their friend, but Tomas (aka: Hispanic Johnny Depp (hereby known as HJD)), showed no sympathy, and brutally killed Big Tiny. 

They arrived at a set of double doors leading to the adjacent cell block, and Rick ordered HJD to open only one door, to restrict the flow of walkers coming through. Tomas disobeys and opens both doors, flooding the area with walkers. In the ensuing chaos, he pushed a walker on to Rick (Big Mistake), but claimed it was an accident.  This proved to be Rick's breaking point, just as they cleared the area of walkers, Rick pulled out his machete, and splits HJD's head in half. Another prisoner, Andrew, attempted to flee, but ended up trapping himself within a courtyard full of walkers. Rick showed mercy to the two remaining prisoners, who seemed innocent and well-intentioned by sparing their lives and allotting them the cell block as promised.

In the concluding scene, we saw Rick and Lori sharing a private moment in the yard.  Lori seemed intent on burying the hatchet (pun intended), trying to talk with Rick to regain some common ground.  She makes a comment to Rick, hoping for him to affirm his love and feeling towards his wife:




"For better or worse, right?"

"We're awful grateful for what you did,"

And then Rick walked away.

- Rick has placed the safety of the group as a whole above that of his own family.  He's also much more of a BAMF than we have seen in the past.

- Herschel is going to make it, at least for now.

- Who was watching Carol in the yard?
- What will happen with the two prisoners in the adjacent block? Will they rejoin the Grimes Clan?
- Will the Andrea/Michonne timeline re-align with the Prison soon?

This week's zombie kill award goes to Big Tiny.  Sure, he wasn't quite infected yet when HJD hacked him to bits, but it was sure gory, gruesome, and in cold blood.  Fortunately, the two pals would not be parted for long... HJD experienced a similar fate minutes later.  

Check back next week for the next Walking Dead Recap: Walk With Me

-Kevin Aherne

There are still so many good and spooky games out there that I want to share for the Halloween season, as I did in my previous post.  Don’t worry, I’ll keep it at “part 2” and avoid making dry and flat sequels. (Mind you, Freddy and Jason always come back with more robust, but that’s beside the point.)

The Call of Duty series isn’t exactly the golden apple in the tree of first-person shooters, no matter how shiny you try to make it with Mountain Dew endorsements.  Apart from the frustrating multiplayer gaming, it’s been synonymous with 10-year-olds using vulgar and racial slurs over the pic.  Thankfully, if you have Black Ops, take a break from the noise, grab a buddy or two for co-op, and play some Zombies.  Best way to put it, in this fictional setting around the World War II era, Nazis have invented zombies, and you have to gun them down. The stages are built like a “last stand” fort, with barricades to rebuild and extra rooms to retreat to, as you fight off each wave.  DLC maps include more WWII settings, Shangri-La, a movie set with THE George A. Romero, and the moon.  Yes, that shiny circle in the sky made of cheese.  So get in on this for now, because there will be even more when Black Ops 2 comes out.

(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBGgBsx-vy0)

Want a free game, but with the same good thrills.  Consider the following.  Slender is a survival horror game where you must find eight pieces of paper that’s been drawn on.  And it’s not as dull as you think.  You start off in a dark, wooded area and have nothing but a flashlight.  Once you find the first page, that’s when the horror starts.  The Slenderman, so aptly named, starts to stalk you.  The aim of the game is to gather all eight pages while being chased by the Slenderman while you’re not looking at him.  The trick is getting them all as he gets faster, because if you’re too slow to get away from him, it’s game over.  Well sure, deformed creatures are one thing, but a creepy, faceless figure with long limbs stalking you where you can’t see him?  It still works.  People still scream and whimper much like in Amnesia.

(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OZMBG4Pn3Sg)

Under the sea~!  Under the sea~!  Darling it’s better, when it gets wetter, take it from-OH GOD IT’S GONNA KILL ME!?  I kid, I kid.  But really, a huge monster in a diving suit with a giant drill, called “Big Daddy,” is not so kid-friendly.  Anyway, welcome to Rapture!  It’s an underwater city where you are free from oppressive society, and play around with funny chemicals that give you psychic powers.  Well, at least it was fun, until society under the sea collapsed, turning the city into a death trap full of mutated tweakers trying to get their precious chemicals from little girls while under the protection of their Big Daddies….I s**t you not, look it up.  How do you get involved in the madness?  You play a survivor of a plane crash, and with dumb luck, stumbled upon this once glamorous city.  Have fun getting out alive with a good assortment of weapons and psychic power juice lying around. (Must’ve been a hell of a party…)

(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CoYorK3E4aM)


- "Demon" Matt Little

Gloria Flakeskill, a Florida psychic, after listening to and reading accounts of the Tsunami Debris pregnancy here at the Haunted Cabaret on 990WBOB, has reached a startling conclusion:

"The baby will be the Anti-Christ," she said, "As foretold in the Necronomicon."

Told that the birth of the Anti-Christ is generally held to be foretold in the Bible's Book of Revelation and not in fantasy writer H.P. Lovecraft's fictional book, Ms. Flakeskill said "It's there. You just got to know where to look for it."

When it was pointed out that, in addition, the Biblical Son of the Devil is prophesied to come from the Middle East, she said, "Nope, it's Japan. They bombed Pearl Harbor and started the war, and them sneaky so-and-so's  is still messin' with us."

A Japanese official, asked about Ms. Flakeskill's extraordinary claim, said " You paid us back big time at Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Plus we sent you all those Godzilla movies. Can't we call it even?"
Ms. Flakeskill insists her psychic information is on the level and bad times lie ahead.

Skeptics, however, say her claims are just a studio-funded cheap publicity stunt for an upcoming Big-Screen  monster epic: "Mothra vs Lucifer and Cthulhu: Three-Way Dance."
Here at the Haunted Cabaret, we just keep an open mind.

Stay Tuned...

George Goner
The Haunted Cabaret