Dating Dominica: Lulu's a B*tch. Whoever She Is

Dominica Hernandez 

Let’s talk Lulu.

A free app you can download that actually pulls information from Facebook and rates men on a scale of 1-10. Now as glorious as this sounds…..it’s complete bullshit. 

First the site list his full name. Yes I said it. His FULL name. REALLY? 

There’s your first mistake, Lulu. Then there are pictures that are pulled from his Facebook profile. Now, Lulu’s website states that men can willing sign up for this site to be rated and it’s only until then they are able to be rated. 

LIE! 

The instant I signed up to see what this debauchery was about a good guy friends profile came up. Three reviews with a total average score of 7.0. Not too bad, but had my friend really signed up for a website to be critiqued on every single thing he did on “said” dates?

Trust me ladies! Do Not Use This App!

So I asked him: "NOPE!"

Come on Lulu. It’s one thing to call a man out on his small penis for a great blog ANONYMOUSLY but to actually use some ones name and picture. Well that’s just trashy. And the best part of all this, the shit they are actually rating dudes on are completely bogus!

This site allows you to rate a guy on his best qualities which include (all hashtaged of course):

#LuckyToKnowHim #LovesBabies #StrongHands #MakesMeBetter #StrongJaw #God’sGiftToWoman #AwesomeSauce #MaleUnicorn #PantyDropper #HotCar #PleaseF**kMeILoveYou #SmellsAmazeballs.

Are you f*cking kidding me? This shit can’t be serious.

Then there’s his worst qualities (And I thought #MaleUnicorn was bad):

#BurnsCornFlakes #Meh #TooSweet #OwnsCrocs #ManChild #FastFoodDiet #CrayCray #DrinksTheHaterade #FartMachine…..

Woman actually talk like this? Idiots.

At this point you can say how you know him: Friend, Crush, Hooked Up, Relative (that’s special), Ex, “Friend Who Benefited”. I’ll have to assume all these bitches are ex’s….

After you’ve completely torn his ass apart you go on to rate his other assets based on a five star scale: Humor, First Kiss, Manners, Ambition, Sex, Commitment, Look & Style. I can’t believe what I’m reading…..

Then you submit your trash and it gives him a rating. This is complete bull shit ladies. If the shoe was on the other foot bitches would be going all sorts of Jodi Arias and setting dudes houses ablaze.

Needless to say, don’t download this garbage. Instead, go out for drinks with your girls. Tell them what an asshole your date was and how you wouldn't see him despite the fact he has a great job and a killer smile. The guy made you pay for drinks on your first date?! 

NEXT! 

Or write a blog, get all your thoughts out on paper. (You can even talk about your ex’s penis but it’s all good cause you weren't a total bitch and did it anonymously.)

Okay, maybe you’re kind of a bitch. But when you’re funny as shit, bitchy is acceptable. 


Dominica Hernandez is still single and living in Warwick, Rhode Island. These stories are a collection of her experiences. If you or someone you know has a question about sex, dating or relationships feel free to e-mail her at [email protected].  She will NEVER post your real name or information!

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