Enough With The Damn Soccer

Freddy Choyle

For the last two weeks the word's attention has been focused on one of the worst, least exciting, boring border line sports in human history. 

Yes I said it soccer sucks. Especially in America.

Who really cares, besides immigrants?

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As I sit in this dingy watering hole sipping on my adult beverage and constructing this article, two bar stools down is some loud foreigner screaming at the television in some unknown dialect. I can not help but draw the comparison in my mind of a dog barking annoyingly at nothing.

The US simply offers far more intelligent and violent sports than the ancient art of "futbol". 

Our own team has zero expectations of a World Cup victory. 

WBOB Sport's own Michael Parente has called those who are enthused by the Cup "pink hatters." Unfortunately I have to agree. In fact the US has a professional soccer league that is only slightly more financially successful then the WNBA. A league created by years of rich white man sexist guilt.

Soccer is outdrawn in the US by women's tennis, auto racing and minor league hockey. Anyone who claims to be fan, is just plain full of it.

If you are offended by this, ask yourself when was the last time you went to an MLS matchup? How often do you wake up early to catch some European action?

I suppose if you were born in a country were the national sport is the all mighty soccer game, then you are excited and rightfully so. Yet is your last name ends in a vowel and you are cheering for Italy you are a poser. 

If you are of Portuguese decent and you have visited Portugal and speak the language, you are still a soccer pink hater.

My real issue with this boring pointless sport is not so much the game itself. If you can't tel it's with it's fans. Most of which are ignorant neanderthals who have neither appropriate social skills or bathing habits. 

Never in my life have I experienced such rude ignorant behavior as I did at crowded establishment for the last US game. Patrons were yelling at bartenders for service when they were clearly overwhelmed. Fans were nearly tackling servers as they hustled by that's if they even got out of the way of the eager server to begin with. I actually witnessed a bus boy knocked over by an over excited enthusiasts.

Perhaps there is a reason they only hold the World Cup every four years. 

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