Flashy Freddy's Fabulous Friday Five

Freddy Choyle

The Olympic games are officially underway this weekend and all the talks are on the housing conditions. It seems Putin focused his attention, more on what gays might do, while visiting Russia, then, anything else.  Some hotels were not ready for the games. Media members showed up to hotels without working bathrooms. Some rooms were still under construction as patrons checked in. Reports of stray dogs running around the halls and rooms, are all over twitter. This made me glad (for once) that the evil tyrant that runs this wonderful media outlet, did not send me to this god forsaken place. Still it inspired me to write, this week's Top Five on, Vacation Disasters, enjoy..............

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#5 Hillbilly Tow Trucks - True story, once while vacationing in my old childhood summer family stop, I had some extreme misfortune. While my lady friend and I enjoyed a nice lunch in the town of Ogunquit Maine, some two toothed townie, hooked my automobile up and towed it down the street. Now yes, we were parked in the wrong lot, however we literally had left the car alone for some 15 minutes, tops. Before you judge, what you should know is, that is this small village town there is not nearly enough parking. This is not by accident, this small town and it's one tow truck, has been pulling this scam on tourists for decades. A few angry words, a couple idle threats and a $100 later, the car was back on the ground. Needless to say we haven't been back since.

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#4 Lost Luggage - As if getting molested by TSA wasn't bad enough, nothing makes your trip a complete and utter frustrating failure than loosing your bags. Clothing, toiletries, money and more. All your left with, is the urge to scream and a feeling of helplessness.

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#3 Ohhh Foreigners - Speaking again from experience, I can again recall another disaster. Once while riding on a bus returning from a weekend bender in NY, I had a very lengthy and uncomfortable delay. The bus I was traveling on was delayed mid route for over an hour. The reason, a elderly female Asian tourist had locked herself in the bathroom on the bus. She could not for the life of her, figure out how to get out. The bus driver, due to some union regulation had to wait for a union approved locksmith to bail the lady out of toilet prison. The whole time, the bus load of people were forced to remain seated.

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#2 - Just That Number Two - What is more embarrassing and uncomfortable, then the runs. Traveling is the last time, you'd expect or be willing to deal with leaky pipes. Public bathrooms, do not supply the comfort or privacy for such a personal matter.

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#1 The Family Road Trip - If you've ever done it, then, well you know. If you haven't, for the sake of your children's future mental health, don't. The Griswolds taught us all we need to know about the great open road.

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