Next-Gen Console Heartbreak

By Evan McKay 

Back in 1995, a much venerated next generation console debuted...the Sony Playstation. Sony, the electronic juggernaut, was at the time ready to move past discmans and really kick consumer electronics into high gear with that sweet grey (and super loud) rectangle. The launch titles were solid and new, but also very weird! Take the terrible Street Fighter: The Movie: THE GAME (lolz) and at the other end, Battle Arena Toshinden, which RULED and put a great spin on the newly emerging 3D fighter. To fill out the launch assortment, Sony gave us a rather middling sample of titles somewhere in between those extremes, such as Air Combat, Jumping Flash!, and the timeless classic Ridge Racer! 

Back then, I was a little baby nOOb at the tender age of 11...The world was so sweet and innocent and all that mattered was that glowing screen and the nasty ass gray controller. I loved playing those games (not street fighter..dear god that was atrocious), and I was so easily enthralled, so hooked, that I spent my days obsessing over them…

Will I have a similar experience on 11.15.13 when Sony launches the PS4? Probably not. 

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At first, I was looking forward to the PS4 release with the fervor of my adolescence. I was excited to play the next chapter of a classic favorite of mine, Call of Duty: Ghosts, and support it with a truly “next-gen” experience, Watch Dogs. WD looked fantastic, like a quasi cooperative shooter with sandbox and parkour elements while driving sweet whips around modern Chicago. Yeah, too bad that shit got pushed back to June 2014. While I can’t fault a developer for taking the time to make a game perfect- especially WD’s developer Ubisoft, notorious for releasing bugged-out games such as every Assassin’s Creed game- I was dying to see something extra special with the new system launch. 

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What are the other launch games, you ask? 

Battlefield 4: looks good but I'm playing COD:G so why would I need two of virtually the same game? Killzone 4: How about Killsnore 4?!?! I dont need to play a pile of catsick that includes the regurgitated bits of Gears of War and Halo with some Syndicate as the frosting! Gross!!!! Marvel Lego: Although the Lego games are fun if you are a 7 year old, if you played one you have played them all. I think the rest are sports and driving games,which if you are reading this probably means you would rather lick your own butt then play any of that garbage (one exception: long live Mutant League Football!!!)

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Which finally leaves us with the high-profile Assassin’s Creed 4, another Ubisoft Game, yet one that they've actually completed. Assassin’s Creed 3 SUCKED apart from two elements: the Revolutionary War setting, since I loved the tri-corner hats and killing red coats because ‘MURICA- Boston was awesome before all those bros invaded! Also: the execution of beautiful naval battles, which was loved universally by players. Ubisoft heard what worked, so in AC4, they focused on this element and made your character a pirate. But wait, I thought the premise was that you were an assassin, not a pirate!? The only boat that game reminds me of is the fail boat. It will certainly not be worth $60- you will probably finish it in a week and will end up being a bigger waste of space on your shelf then a Murder She Wrote box set.

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After the launch, my plan is to finish the COD: Ghosts single player campaign on veteran in three days and hopefully got sucked into the multiplayer for at least a couple months. Sadly, that will brings me to around mid January, and there aren't any more high-power titles releasing until spring of 2014. So all-in-all, a beautifully designed console (that I've fully paid for in advance expecting WD upon release, mind you...) is going to be a waste of money for about six months. My only hope is that all those semi-direct purchase Indie-developed games Sony was hyping for the PSN are good enough to keep me from turning my new console into gaming PC food by then.

But that is a topic for another day! Keep rollin on 20’s my friends!!!!!! 

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