raw sex: The chronic cheater

The Sexual Intellectual - [email protected]

This is one of the areas of life that people don't seem to comprehend. Cheating can be as serious a problem for some, as drug addiction. Sure in some cases, we cheat because "we are unhappy," "the sex isn't that good," etc. Regardless of your excuses because that is really what they are, excuses, you should NEVER lie to someone you are in a relationship with. Not only is it a selfish act, you are putting your partner at risk for physical and emotional damage. 

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It recently came to my attention that I was cheated on. I felt the need to share this with my listeners because I always shared the good times, and sexual experiences of my relationship on air. I wanted people to understand that I am human and my relationship wasn't immune to the ugly things of life. My first reaction was how could the girl who does a radio show about sex admit to the world that she was cheated on? I was embarrassed and I beat myself up for weeks and did everything I could to understand what had happened to me. I even considered cancelling my show all together.

The reality is, this isn't about me, the relationship, the sex or anything else. The partner I chose had a condition called "Chronic Cheating" even in happy circumstances where they enjoy the sex and are happy with the person they chose to be in a relationship with, they find the need for self gratification else where. It is a void they themselves suffer, that no amount of love, sex, or good steak dinners can fulfill. It's a vicious cycle where the guilt becomes the motivator to continue their unhealthy behavior. They believe they are bad people and that's just how bad people behave. They usually can't get themselves out of it, until they lose it all. 

I wanted to share my experience to help other men and women in my place. Who lose their self esteem, count their inadequacies and spend a lifetime hurting and trying to pick up the pieces someone else left behind. Continuing the cycle in their new relationships by either cheating themselves (If i hurt them they can't hurt me) or by never being able to love or trust again.

There are good people out there and the people who cheat still have the opportunity to redeem themselves and be good people BUT only if THEY so choose. You cannot force them to love you, seek help or be better. It's a lesson they can only learn alone.

Don't be a victim of someone else's issues. Don't let them take more from you than they already have. Cry, call friends, and say the same thing over and over till you heal. Then pick yourself up by your bootstraps, wipe your tears and take on the world stronger than ever. We all come into each others lives for one reason or another. My S/O needed me to get the help he finally needs. I needed him to realize that I am so much more than someone's girlfriend.

With that said: CHEATERS, don't forget that your 10 pumps of pleasure can cause someone else a lifetime of pain and suffering. Even if their emotional scars heal, you have the possibility of spreading STI's, STD's and HIV. Even through giving and receiving unprotected oral sex and/or protected sex. Always get yourself checked and give your partner the courtesy of doing the same. If any of you are wondering...I practice what I preach.

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