raw sex: Why so much shame in the sex game?

The Sexual Intellectual: [email protected]

The reality is, most parents have no clue where to begin speaking to their children about sex. The majority of us would agree that we didn't get the "birds and the bees" talk and it didn't help our first time experiences with sex. So the question is...Why is there so much shame around sex education? 

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I recently did a tabling at a college and when I pulled out a sex toy to show an adult, the event coordinator came flying across the room and asked me to put it away, like it was some weapon of mass destruction.  Her comment was "it's not the school the opposes it, it's the parents." 

Since when is masturbation so wrong? Being a Catholic, I struggle with this question personally because in the world of Catholicism any sex act that isn't for procreation is wrong but I live in 2014 and my personal sex beliefs don't date back 3000 years. Id like to think that in any situation in the world, the more educated we are, the better chance we have of making healthier and safer choices. 

As humans, we are biologically created to have sexual desires and needs. For some of us, those desires and needs start at a young age. Why not educate our children on their anatomy, so they aren't scared and confused? Why not teach them how to use certain toys so they aren't taking risks like shoving random household items in themselves or having risky unprotected sex?  Or give them the correct information so they don't assume things like "baby's come out of buttholes," "I only have one sperm," and several other childhood experiences I have heard along the way in the world of sexuality education.

I never had the birds and the bees talk, my parents are old school Portuguese and they probably didn't have the tools to give me the proper information anyways. But I'm determined to break the cycle, I'm not ashamed of my sexuality, my past experiences, or sharing my oopps moments with my listeners in the hope of sparing them the fear, nervousness and emotionally damaging experiences I have gone through. 

Parents, it's not too late for you to break the cycle too! There are some GREAT resources out there to help you better understand and find a comfortable approach to having the sex ed talk with your children. I have listed a few below. Additionally, if you do accidentally encounter your child touching themselves, you first reaction may be to yell or get startled and frustrated but that is a perfect opportunity for you to explain privacy, boundaries and make sure they are washing their hands before and after. Yelling and shaming will only cause long term emotional damage that in many cases is irreparable. 

If you have any additional questions, they are always welcome and I will do my best to answer them or direct you to someone who may better assist you. 

Planned Parenthood
The Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health

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