Summer Comedy Movie Round Up: Be Careful What you Wish For...

Jay Burns (The Comics Corner)

With the Summer comes those tent pole movies, or the big budget spectaculars that movie studios bank on bringing in the billions of dollars that keep them running. And with tent pole summer movies come sub-par comedies to fill in the gaps. This year is no exception! So your humble movie buddy Jay Burns takes a look at what is on its way into the mega-plexes this year. Make sure to tell me how wrong I am in comments.

Anyone else Nauseated?

Movie: “Blended” with Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore

Release Date: May 23rd

What They Say:  After a bad blind date, a man and woman find themselves stuck together at a resort for families, where their attraction grows as their respective kids benefit from the burgeoning relationship.

What I Say: 10 years ago, two studio executives in Hollywood said to each other, “Hey, Adam Sandler wants to clean up his image.” “Really, cause Drew Barrymore does as too!” “You know what let’s get those two together in a family friendly romantic comedy.” “We’ll make millions!” And 50 First Dates was born, and Hollywood made millions. Than a studio executive said “Hey, It’s been 10 years since these two were in a movie together, I bet that will help make a million more dollars.” And they made another movie, and it will probably get several more million dollars. And that’s how you start a summer comedy blockbuster.

Movie Formula:  Cheaper by the Dozen + The African Queen – Talent = Blended

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Movie:  “A Million Ways to Die in the West” with Seth McFarlane

Release Date: May 30th

What They Say: As a cowardly farmer begins to fall for the mysterious new woman in town, he must put his new-found courage to the test when her husband, a notorious gun-slinger, announces his arrival.

What I say: Firstly, why is Christopher Lloyd in this movie as Dr. Emmet Brown? Second,  I want to hate this movie. Really, I do. I want to think that this is going to be just “Family Guy in the West”, and not good pre-cancelation Family Guy, I mean 2014, “I-get-it-you’re-making-lots-of-money-making-the-same-joke Family Guy”. With a cast of pretty amazing Academy Award winners and nominees (including Liam Neeson, Giovanni Ribisi, and Charlize Theron) this may actually be good. Guess we just have to wait and see.

I Liked this Movie More When It Was: Wagons East with John Candy and Richard Lewis. Maybe.

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Movie: “22 Jump Street” with Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum

Release Date: June 13th

What They Say: After making their way through high school (twice), big changes are in store for officers Schmidt and Jenko when they go deep undercover at a local college.

What I Say: No matter how white you make Jonah Hill’s teeth he will still never be Johnny Depp. As soon as we all accept that fact the sooner Jonah Hill can start making better movies. If Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum wanted to make an 80’s spring break movie there are better ideas in the world beyond adapting the money maker you used last year. Also, Ice Cube? Really? He went from being hip-hop’s Malcolm X in N.W.A. into hip-hop’s Kevin Hart lite.

I Liked this Movie More When It Was: a TV show on Fox starring Johnny Depp, Holly Robinson, and Peter DeLuise.

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Movie: “Tammy” with Melissa McCarthy

Release Date: July 4th

What They Say: After losing her job and learning that her husband has been unfaithful, a woman hits the road with her profane, hard-drinking grandmother.

What I Say: From what I’ve been reading this movie is a passion project for Melissa McCarthy, who I genuinely find a comedic actress. But the trailer does not help this movie at all. Old people drinking is funny, in this case Susan Sarandon, and so are fat ladies grooving to rap music but I think Melissa McCarthy and co-writer /director Ben Falcone (also McCarthy’s husband and a fellow Groundling) have more to offer than the standard summer comedy fare.

Scale of how interested I am: More than Superman vs. Batman but not as much as Guardians of the Galaxy

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Movie:  “Sex Tape” with Jason Segal and Cameron Diaz

Release Date: July 18th

What They Say: After losing her job and learning that her husband has been unfaithful, a woman hits the road with her profane, hard-drinking grandmother.

What I Say: If Cameron Diaz goes the Full Monty than this movie will be the biggest blockbuster the summer has ever seen. If it’s Jason Segal doing the Full Monty, again… I just want to see Cameron Diaz naked in this movie. No amount of story or jokes will make this movie anything more than it is a cheap Farrelly Brother’s knock off.

What you should do instead: Go see “Dawn of the Planet of the Apes” or make an actual sex tape.

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