Top Five Is Alive!!! Celebrities Too Crazy To Be Nude...

This past weekend has been referred to as "The Fappening". 

Why? 

Celebrity Naked Selfies have hit the internet this week. A butt-load! (Pun INtended)  I personally have not seen the latest -- or any for that matter. 

Most of the nation is disgusted with the person that posted the pictures. Some blame the celebrity for putting this weapon in the poster's hands. I think we are all to blame as a society. We have the mentality that if something exists we NEED to see it. 

If you think the celebrities are "Crazy" for taking nude pics at least once in their lives, I offer you this; my list of five celebs that went legit bat-shit* without so much as a tender wink to a camera. 

Check it out in today's Top Five is Alive...

*It's a clinical term...

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Celebrities Too Crazy For Selfie Nudes

5. Joaquin Phoenix - For the most part we are starting the list out a tad mellow here. Joaquin Phoenix has a history of Alcohol Abuse a reckless behavior -- yet his version of going crazy was to falsify a career switch from Actor to Rap Artist. This was later revealed to be a hoax for an upcoming Mockumentary starring Joaquin. To boost his career he was willing to essentially end it and still no dick pics. 

4. Wesley Snipes - Crazy or just old fashioned method actor? Either way, this is a man that dodged Uncle Sam for Taxes as well as got way too into character on the third Blade installment. Crazy enough to choke the director on set but not his chicken on camera. During the shoot he turned his trailer into a pot den and introduced himself to new cast members and crew as Blade. There is no telling what this man would do with a cell phone but I'd be more worried about him disemboweling me with it than snapping POV nudes.

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3. Sean Young - You may remember her as Finkle/Einhorn in "Ace Ventura: Pet Detective," she was the female police captain with an unfortunate tucking situation. I'm not sure I have ever seen her nude. Though she did wander around the WB lot in the 90's dressed like cat woman, purring at Michael Keaton himself! Among others, in order to get the role of cat woman. She didn't. She once even stalked James Woods, if only she knew sexting him would be the best way to become famous for fifteen more minutes.

Your gun is digging into my hip!

2. Anne Heche - Back in 2000, Anne Heche took some Ecstasy, that drug that those slimy teenagers do at the light parties, and then proceeded to walk around the fringes of Fresno in just a bra and shorts and ended up at a strangers home. The good Samaritan happily obliged the movie star with water and a shower, but got understandably freaked out when Anne showed no intentions of leaving and asked to watch a movie instead. When authorities arrived, Heche proclaimed that she was God, and was going to “take everyone back to Heaven in a spaceship.” Anne later explained that she suffered regular abuse from her father as a child, and created an alternate universe and personality—Celestia of the Fourth Dimension, half-sister of Jesus Christ—as a mental escape from her trauma. All that and daddy issues to boot and no naked selfies. (You see where this is going...?)

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1. Russell Crowe - Infamous for his temper. He has brawled across this Nation's wide sprawl and in 2005. He became so angry with a person for not helping him with a phone call he assaulted the man with the phone. The man is essentially a cave man. He threatens people to get what he wants. Which seems like the right archetype for textual tryst. However it is safe to say that Crazy goes in many directions but does not seem to lead directly to being nude on the internet. 

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