Freddy Choyle "I'd rather go to the dentist than ________!" a phrase spoken by us all. It seems over time a trip to the dentist has become a certain unpleasantly, so much so it has become an acknowledged term for such. As I found myself this morning experiencing the distinct sting of some routine teeth cleaning I pondered the question, what really is worse then going to the dentist? Certainly any list I may compile would be up for debate. However keep in mind my top five list was constructed as my drill happy dentist happily went to work on my teeth. This gave me an unique perspective as to what is indeed worse a far worse experience. The Clear Cut Top Five Things Worse Then Going To The Dentist #5 Gay Pride Parades - Before you call me homophobic, let me just note, that the reason Gay Pride Parades sucks is well because it's an over the top raunchy and quite frankly pathetic display. If we had a straight parade with guys and gals topless, getting it on and throwing prophylactics into the crowd, people of all sexualities would be offended. Yet we all just turn a blind eye while mostly flamboyantly gay men make a mockery of themselves and gay men everywhere. #4 The DMV - Sorry self-entitled overpaid state workers, you and your jobs blow! Nothing about long lines, ridiculous forms, smelly strangers and hours of wait time are either pleasant or tolerable. #3 Kim Kardashian - You had sex with Ray J. Brandy's little brother. Your a slut, that's your claim to fame. Wow! Your ass is huge and is certainly not attractive to most men. In fact most men fantasize about other women if their wife or girlfriend has an ass and certainly a voice like yours. #2 Karaoke - This should be self explanatory. For every multi millionaire top five pop singer there is 10 billion other idiots who think they can sing just as good. American Idol and the rest of those TV programs have taken the hobby of karaoke as to it's pinnacle. Hence there is no need for a couple of over served humans to belt out Journey's greatest hits on every corner in America. #1 A Proctology Exam - It comes full circle so to speak. This is one exam that truly no one looks forward to. I'd venture to guess a Proctologist has the highest reschedule rate then any other profession. |
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