Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

By Dip Donnelly

FANTASY FRENZY
Where every fantasy no matter how voracious starts and
ends with DIP!

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde is not just a narrative in the world of Major League Baseball... and no one feels the effects as much as fantasy owners.

Between streaky hitters and pitchers that can’t seem to get a good night’s rest at the Holiday Inn Express out of town, it can literally drive you insane trying to set your lineup.  Believe me, I have tried everything; researching split stats, flipping a coin and I even tried voodoo... all with minimal success (except the voodoo: thank me if you hate A-Rod).  

For instance, take the left handed Italian-American Barry Zito, this guy is 4-1 at home with a sub-two ERA, with batters hitting .235 against him.  Conversely, on the road, this “homeboy” has a 9.38 ERAallows batter to hit a Puig-like .422.  If you own Zito; you hate him, I know you do.  But then again you love him.  It’s almost like he doesn’t care about you when he’s away.  I have been to San Francisco, and their ballpark is awesome, it feels small and feels like a newer Fenway. It's clean and they sell Patron Margaritas... so I could see how someone could get homesick, but gee whiz Barry, you stink on the road.

Ther are plenty of other gems like this butthole, such as Jon Lester;  this guy is a nightmare.  From week to week you never know what you are going to get. As a matter of fact, you don’t know what you will get from inning to inning with Lester.  Through his first nine starts, Lester was 6-0 with an ERA of 2.72.  Through his last nine starts he is 2-4 and his ERA has ballooned up to 4.41. That doesn’t seem too bad until you do the math: he has an ERA of 6.10 over that time.  Lester has now had 2 quality starts in a row, so you have to start him despiteyour apprehension.  I am starting him and I know he is going to crap all over his Holliday Inn Express bed. 

So what can you do?  NOTHING!  You are screwed! It happens to all of us and there is nothing you can do about it.  So stop complaining and get ready for some football.