George Goner

Here at the Haunted Cabaret, I continue to hear rumors to the effect that horror novelist Stephen King is no longer the author of his own books. According to his detractors, he now employs the services of a ghostwriter(appropriate term, at least!) to do the writing that still regularly puts him on the bestseller lists. His critics' strongest argument is the poor quality of King's recent work. This is the most convincing argument against the ghostwriter theory.
Why would a man of King's almost unlimited financial resources hire mediocre hacks to write in his name, instead of talented storytellers capable of duplicating his signature style? I believe the situation is much more straightforward: Stephen King is a creative artist who has run out of things to say, but keeps slogging ahead. Either out of denial, or because his mansion in Bangor needs lots of expensive upkeep.

Everything happens so fast, especially around the holidays. That's why the editorial staff has put together for you, a compilation of all you may have not had the time for.  Go ahead and sip that Egg Nog and catch up on the world. From Duck Dynasty to in studio performances, 990WBOB was busy to entertain you. Merry Christmas

Remember The Three Stooges? Moe, Larry, and Curley performed vaudeville and acted in one-reel comedy shorts for Columbia Pictures back in the 1930s. They had their detractors, but most of the stage- and movie-watching public found them hilarious.

A new trio of Stooges made its comedic debut recently at the Nelson Mandela Memorial Service. The leader of the act is Barack Obama, who demonstrated a genuine flair for the absurd with his  mugging for selfies at such an otherwise solemn event. The warm-up spot was ably filled with the inspired choice of a sign-language interpreter signing gibberish. Fun stuff, if only for the hearing impaired. The New Three Stooges performed to global front-page reviews. Barack flashed his white-toothed grin, while his two compadres were masterful as the brainless bimbo and the Big Bang New-Cool Nerd. Along the way they did a hilarious impression of three world leaders: the President of the United States, and the Prime Ministers of Holland and Great Britain. The thankless straight-person's role was played by Michelle Obama, who did a commendable job of looking pissed as hell at the idiotic proceedings.

The selection of Nelson Mandela's Memorial Service as the choice of venue to debut a comedy act in the first place has drawn its share of criticism. Some consider the entire episode an egregious example of unacceptable bad taste in media, a la Miley Cyrus and her reptile- like protruding tongue. Experts in the art of comedy, however, are quick to point out that contrast heightens comedic effect, and no greater contrast can be made than between legendary statesman Mandela, and these three grinning buffoons. The only thing missing from their repertoire is the Triple-Face-Slap made famous by the Original Stooges. Michelle Obama looked ready to deliver one, but for some reason held back.  We sincerely wish she hadn't.

                                

Bob Giusti - [email protected]

'Tis the season to be jolly for sure, but we are also reminded to give to the less fortunate. You'll see the Salvation Army still ring their bell, although now it seems to toll for sexual intolerance. We also have countless non profits and volunteers working to facilitate some sort of gifting to the needy(usually in the form of food drives). It makes us feel good and puts us in a guilt free spirit.
I like to call this the Christmas in a Bag program. I realize its a sensitive topic to criticize good will, but I have reservations as to how effective these one time handouts are and whether there is a true nutritional value in the contents(like canned peaches and Rice Crispy snacks). I get it, Its a gesture; a symbolic representation of what the poor fundamentally requires.

After A&E suspended the Robertson family patriarch indefinitely, The Robertson clan  as anticipated  has united together in defense Phil. Releasing an official statement on their website duckcommander.com. They while admitting Phil may have gone a little to far, in his recent GQ interview, they stand behind his religious intent.