![]() In terms of hilarious contempt for the customer, this one is hard to beat... Apparently a passenger's luggage fell off the baggage cart and out on to the runway, no one noticed. The airplane then proceeded to run over the luggage, smashing it flat. I don't know what a jet airplane weighs, but... I assume it is A LOT. The punchline: When a Southwest employee finally noticed the mess, he did the following: 1. Fetched two heavy-duty trashbags and a snow shovel. 2. Shoveled the Destroyed Baggage into the trashbags. 3. Taped the whole mess up with duct tape. 4. Sent it along to the passengers' destination on the next flight, without explanation. ![]() The passengers were notified their lost belongings had been found, and presented with the two heavily duct-taped trashbags by airline employees. Said belongings included a medical breathing apparatus, several suits of clothing, and assorted underwear- all personalized with tire tracks of the offending airplane. I heard this story personally, eating lunch at the Airport Plaza IHOP restaurant in Warwick, R.I. The people involved were sitting in the booth behind me. Thought you might enjoy hearing about a different sort of everyday horror... - George Goner for the Haunted Cabaret ![]() Now that all the leaves are gone and Thanksgiving over, the holiday season is here. A time to getting around to set-up that old, plastic tree stored in a box and in the attic, collecting dust for almost a year. A time to visit family and deal with the same old family drama, or dealing with grandpa’s stories about the war(s), or how successful your sibling is and you’re not. A time; where “Merry Christmas” has become culturally insensitive to those who don’t celebrate Christmas. But oh no! You still couldn’t find that Malibu Barbie dream house for your daughter or the Wii-U for your “casual gamer” son... or that 60” TV for yourself. “You could’ve waited several hours to get what you needed on Black Friday, did you ever consider that?” Tch… well don’t you just have a simple answer for everything. Black Friday is the dreaded day after Thanksgiving where everywhere has a sale and everyone MUST go out and shop before the popular items are gone. Nowadays, places like Best Buy and Wal-Mart thought it would be awesome to open their stores on midnight for the best deals known to man. Who would be so crazy as to camp out on Thanksgiving morning and missing out on food and family just for a new TV or laptop? Surprisingly, enough people in line to wrap around the building a couple times by dark. To see what the whole thing is all about, I decided to check it out myself later in the night after the line got shorter. One by one, someone would walk out either with a TV, two TVs, five TVs, or a couple of games and movies… or nothing at all. I was a bit worried I wouldn’t be able to get the things I want with my recently acquired birthday cash before they’re sold out for who knows how long. Luckily, I got in and got my stuff, but found that the line in there is much longer than out there. And we do this for what? A copy of Halo 4 and the new Dethklok album. Sure enough, when I would go shopping again, there were still plenty of things in stock, just not for the price of what companies pay an entire Chinese factory for a day. Over the years that I’ve known about Black Friday, I’ve never once thought more about it other than it being a major shopping day. And what I’ve realized over the weekend: it’s stupid. So you managed to get the new TV you want by missing out family and waiting out the cold for hours. Congrats on that. Work called you in to work at night after Thanksgiving? Hope they pay you overtime. Couldn’t you have waited any other time? HELL NO, I MUST GET THAT TV! *sigh* Well there’s a reason why Chinese factory workers are committing suicide and Wal-Mart workers bailing work and protesting. All that matters is making money by exploiting crazed shoppers. Hell, you can even shop online instead of going out… Oh, now there’s a thing called Cyber Monday? Maybe I’m asking the wrong questions. Can we as a consumer nation ever settle down and just enjoy the holidays in peace and with family? Enjoy the festive lights, the fresh white snow, sitting around the fire listening to festive music? Tell stories and drink hot-holy crap, today is Tuesday! Newly released DVD’s and games! Logging off! Kthnxbai! - "Demon" Matt Little ![]() In recent days, I noticed a certain pattern coming together. A pattern, woven with the right threads, formed into a tapestry of patriotism and all things American. Why do I say this? The answer is all around, and under your nose, and is showing off their big trucks, practically saying “hello world, I have a small penis.” Can you feel it now? It’s starting to feel more like ‘Murica lately. Now how do I put into words to describe how I feel? Let’s begin with the start of this season. As anyone knows, fall is the time of Football, stuffing our faces with enough food to feed Africa, and lots of shopping. Basically, all the things that keep capitalist America going. But this always rinses and repeats every year. So what’s so special this season of this year? Oh right, we had an election this year. And we see once again, as with the Bush era, the division between the Americans and ‘Muricans. This time, we’re smart enough to vote for the better man for the second time, and everything afterward is just gravy. Yet the ones who didn’t vote for Obama want their home states to secede from the United States since they think that a democratic *cough*black*cough* president would ruin their country. And who knows, we may go into another civil war. And speaking of civil wars, it also seems like great timing to bring out new movies and video games that involve patriotism and lots of guns. Now we a legitimate and historically sensitive Lincoln movie, where he doesn’t slay vampires this time, but I’m sure does a bit of Tae Kwon Do. And there’s also a remake of Red Dawn, the awesome story of a small town fighting off foreign invaders. This time, the invaders are…Chinese!? Yeah sure, give them ideas, why not. Well, at least I’m more of a video game fella, so let’s hope these new titles are good. We got Assassin’s Creed 3, where you play an assassin killing off red coats in the Revolutionary War, and your BFF is George Washington. Huh… OK, there’s also Black Ops 2, and they’re… whoring out to Mountain Dew. Well OK, how about Halo 4… also whoring out to Mountain Dew. Right then, I guess they’re just not trying to make a decent game anymore if they want to whore out to Mountain Dew. In that case, let’s see if there’s any good news. Well the US is going to help Israel with the whole fiasco going on in Gaza. Oh nice, another excuse to use bombs, kill terrorists, and get oil. Enough of the news, then. Soooooo yeah. Bottom-liner, getting fat, unhappy conservatives, Lincoln, whoring out to capitalism, war. Well I’m done with this miserable post. Happy Thanks-killing Indians and steal their land-giving to you all. Now let me play some fitting music. -"Demon" Matt Little
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