Charlie Valentine
Silent nights, Horny nights, My cell phone's calm, My laptop's bright, 18 year old virgins, mothers defiled, O how I want a girlfriend so freakish and wild, Sleep in and cry over my ex's fleece... Hello friends! Are you currently chewing on the barrel of a handgun? Do you have the intense desire to tear out the jugular of every smiling face you see? Do long nights of eggnog lead to silent tears and heavy breathing while you Private call that married ex with the three kids and perfect life? Well, you're not alone! Tis the season, and you're Single After 30!! The good news is, if you're reading this, you survived Thanksgiving! Bravo, kudos, and a manly pat on the ass! You're halfway past the holidays, and on your way to a cold and lonely winter wait for warmth, sun, and unattainable twenty-somethings in their really short skirts!! But you've got to get there first.
Business students pose for a shot after delivering their winning marketing presentation to executives at the Acura Division of American Honda Motor Co. in California. Shown here left to right: Alison Plunkett of North Kingstown, Tara Larson of North Smithfield, Samantha Valenza of Plainview, N.Y, Taylor Burns of Cranston, and Kristina Cheamitru of North Smithfield. The presentation was made on behalf of their fall semester Social Media for Marketing class. Photo courtesy of EdVenture Partners.
At the University of Rhode Island one business class was driven to perform at the highest levels and at top speed during the fall semester. And they did.
The Social Media for Marketing class was one of 20 to compete in the 2016 Acura ILX Marketing Challenge for a campaign to reach the millennial marketplace. The class won first place and Acura awarded the University a $5,000 scholarship in recognition of the team's achievement. The University of New Mexico earned second place and Johns Hopkins University earned third place.
Chances are your home is about to be hit with the usual burden of the holidays, and it needs special preparation to be ready. 128 Plumbing, Heating, Cooling & Electric, can help with any problems you might encounter. "December is the month your home takes the biggest beating," said Ryan Williams, general manager of 128 Plumbing, Heating, Cooling & Electric, Boston's leading residential home service company. "Visitors and the increased use of appliances all put big strain on a house. But we can help you get ready."
WARNING: GRAPHIC CONTENT
The Russian Ambassador to Turkey was shot and killed Monday in Ankara, Turkey, while he spoke at the opening ceremony of an art exhibition in the city. Andrey Karlov was shot by the assailant (in the video below), who then shouted "Allahu akbar (God is great). Do not forget Aleppo! Do not forget Syria! Do not forget Aleppo! Do not forget Syria!" Karlov later succumed to his injuries. The shooter has not been publicly identified, but it has been reported that the threat has been "neutralized." See the assassination video below (viewer discretion advised)
More than 103 million Americans – the most ever on record – are expected to travel for the Christmas and New Year’s holidays, according to AAA Northeast. This represents a 1.5 percent increase, or 1.5 million more people traveling, compared with last year.
The New England region, with more than 4.4 million travelers expected on the roads and in the skies, will outpace most of the country with an increase of 2.5 percent over 2015. Additional consumer spending, lower gas prices, and increased consumer optimism will all contribute to record travel over the 11-day year-end holiday period. |
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