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It's Not DiGiorno

4/20/2012

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Domino's has been pushing hard to market its new Artisan Pizzas, and have used a bold ploy in doing so.  In a world of "the customer is always right" or "have it your way", Domino's is saying "NO!"

They claim that the distribution of toppings on their new Artisan Pizzas is so perfectly calibrated, that they won't allow any changes.  I decided to find out for myself...

I ordered the Chicken Bacon Carbonara.  When I got it, I realized why it was only $ 7.99.  Although they claim it feeds two, I was handed a box slightly larger than a DVD Case when I picked up my specialty pie.

Before eating the pizza (in about 5 bites), I realized exactly why they wouldn't allow you to alter the toppings...Its frozen, prepackaged pizza.

Nice try Domino's!



-Harry Dunne
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Rob's Album of The Week: Maps & Atlases' Beware And Be Grateful

4/15/2012

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They are an incredibly talented quartet from The Windy City that features pulsating drums, uniquely rhythmic guitars and a funky bass accented by the vocals from guitarist Dave Davison that a good friend of mine described to me once as,"sounding like the closest thing to a saxophone that I've ever seen and I've ever heard" when Maps & Atlases opened for California's insane prog-rockers RX Bandits during the band's final tour at The Middle East in Cambridge, MA this past August. That being said, this band is beyond your typical math/indie/progressive rock sound with their second album, Beware And Be Grateful.

Other than Davison's sax-esque vocals and otherworldly guitar playing, Maps & Atlases consist of Shiraz Dada plucking the bass, Erin Elders on the dueling guitar and Chris Hainey picking up sticks and slamming them on the drums, rounding out a beautiful sound that you won't hear from any other band. The group came together while all four musicians were attending Columbia College Chicago in the fall of 2004 and they haven't looked back, continuously touring and sharing the stage with acts like Minus The Bear, Ra Ra Riot, The Fall of Troy, mewithoutYou, Foals, Portugal. The Man and many others. 

"Vampires" is a rocking track that reminds me of 70s rock bands like T. Rex and Television, with pounding drums and systematic guitars that even will make the most pretentious headbanger start going crazy. "Silver Self" features a choir-like introduction with all the band members voices syncopating perfectly, then going into a series of dance beats and ending with a brain-fizzing guitar solo that will leave you astonished. "Fever", for lack of a better word, is feverishly amazing and definitely seems like it has what it takes be an underground hit. "Old And Gray" has a new wave tinge to it, sounding as if Tears For Fears would have written a similar song without the guitars and sticking strictly to the beats. "Winter" is a great example of how Davison's and Elder's guitar technique can be so complex and simple at the same time, with such speed and precision that will blow your mind. As I always exclaim, don't take my opinion as gospel, log off after your reading, grab a copy of the album and decide for yourself.

Currently, Maps & Atlases are about to embark a 12-date European tour of The United Kingdom, Belgium, The Netherlands, Germany and France starting at Cooler in Bristol, England on April 16th and ending at Fleche D'or in Paris on April 28th. A few weeks later they'll be back in the good ol' U.S. of A starting with their homecoming show at Metro in Chicago on May 11th and ending the 33-date tour at Amsterdam Hall in St. Paul, Minnesota on June 19th. For live music fans in 990WBOB's neck of the woods in New England, Maps & Atlases will be back at The Middle East on May 18th. Until then, hit up your local record store or surf the internet and pick up Beware And Be Grateful, the new album from Maps & Atlases. It'll be a purchase you won't want to pass up.

- Rob Duguay

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Pyongyang, We Have A Problem

4/13/2012

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Anyone who calls North Koreas rocket launch a "failure" or "embarrassment" should just get out of the news business now, because they are obviously unfit to analyze anything more intellectually intensive than a bikini contest.

Why are we being told this NK rocket launch is a failure? Because it crashed into the sea? Okay fine, so tell me what failed exactly. Were we hoping to have a chance to shoot it out of the sky ourselves? Hoping it dropped bioweapons over Tokyo? 



Two Facts About North Korea to Remember
  • NK is about the most isolated place earth, so its very difficult to get good Intel on what they're up to. Conversely, they have one of the greatest intel/spy agencies in the world, a communist staple. 
  • Under the Kim dynasty, NK has been FUCKING INSANE militarily. Which often hinders their spy work. As an example, some years ago they sent a bunch of spies into SK, armed to the teeth with AKs and RPGs. Problem is, they swam to shore with the only orders to blend into society. Of.course they were arrested shortly after arrival, seeing as soaking wet guys with heavy artillery looking to rent a room usually gets peoples suspicions up. Yes, this really happened.  
Point is, Kim Jung Un is not looked at the same way as his father was by the top military brass in the country. He's seen as too soft, likes the people too much, too much Western influence. The rumors of his assassination and subsequent military coup a while back shows the perceived weakness of his regime. 
 
So what does Jung un have to do to get some respect in his own dictatorship, for chrissakes? He COULD massacre some civvies or some other inhumane act. But like we established, he's got a soft spot for the peasants. Or he can tell the rest of the world to shove it and launch his new toy.  

The North Koreans have been doing this crazy shit for years! They set off atomic blasts underground. They leveled villages and starved their people to death just to show off their military balls. This is how they do it. They rattle their sabers, the UN "warns" them (begs) not to do it, they do it, the UN says "hey, that wasn't very nice", and NK laughs at the rest of the world. That's the difference between them and most of the rest of the world. Lots of leaders like to talk up a storm, promising blood and death, or worse SANTCTIONS AND RESOLUTIONS!! Ooh, scary! And nothing ever happens. Quadaffi was known for this for decades. The NKs on the other hand tell you they're going to do something, then do it. 

An example of the depths of craziness in NK Leadership...  This is the actual North Korean broadcast of the 2010 World Cup opening round match up against Brazil, that they lost 2-1. 


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Besides Kim Jung un getting his cherry popped on the UN's sanction list...do you really believe that the only thing you test on a rocket launch is how far it goes?? The logistics involved is beyond anything you or I could fathom. So what happens when this rocket actually succeeds? NK might (doubtful) suffer real consequences in the global community, or at least make some new enemies.   

So, the rocket was never meant to succeed.  It was just get our attention, and let Kim the younger show off his new balls. Oh and tell Obama to screw. 'Food? We don't need no stinking food! We got rockets!" North Korea has traditionally gotten off on slapping Americas hand away. 

The rocket wasn't meant to fly. And the media is played again. Why don't I work for the Pentagon??  


Dictated But Not Read By
- Kevin Willette
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Rob's Album of The Week: Eight And A Half

4/8/2012

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The Toronto music scene has produced a plethora of  fantastic musical acts over the past decade or so with Broken Social Scene, Feist, Metric, Bedouin Soundclash, MSTRKRFT, Death From Above 1979, F***ed Up, The Beauties, Crystal Castles, The New Deal and Woodhands just to name a few. Let's not forget that Toronto has also been the home of prog-rock legends Rush since the late 1960s. These collection of bands make the place known as "The Queen City" the king of burgeoning and creative music in Canada. With their debut self titled album, Eight And A Half is about to join the "court" of musical talent erupting from Toronto like a rhythmic volcano over a plain of harmonic greatness.

Consisting of Broken Social Scene's Justin Peroff on guitar and vocals along with Dave Hamelin and Liam O'Neil of former Montreal band The Stills respectively on drums and keyboards, the band formed after The Stills broke up following a tour with Kings of Leon and Broken Social Scene went on hiatus after doing a tour with TV On The Radio last year. The album features a folktronic sound that meshes together synth beats and keys along with acoustic guitar chords that remind me of acts like The Beta Band, except with an indie/new wave style.


"Scissors" begins with a simple guitar riff that gets overwhelmed by synths and loops, accented by keyboard notes that make you feel like you're in a scene of 2001: A Space Odyssey. The most uniquely produced track on the album, "Go Ego" features looping guitar chords, groovy beats and Peroff's soft, stylish voice that will get you rockin' in no time. If you are looking for a track that will make you dance, "Two Points" will do that in no time with feverish drumming complimented by ambient notes and randomly placed riffs that will make you shuffle your feet. "Walked Into Diazepene" is a spacey track that utilizes complex drums, psychedelic loops and Peroff's voice exclaiming the feeling of being apart from your own self under the influence of psychoactive drugs. As I always say, don't take my opinion as gospel, grab a copy of the record and listen in for yourself.

As of right now, Eight And A Half have three shows coming up in Canada next month at The Starlight Room in Waterloo, Ontario on May 1st, The Casbah in Hamilton, Ontario on May 2nd and Il Motore in Montreal on May 3rd, but be sure they'll be in your neck of the woods before the alleged apocalypse during the end of 2012. Until then, be patient and do yourself a favor, get a copy of Eight And A Half's new album and experience some amazing music by one of the best new bands from Toronto. It'll make your ears and mind feel as if they were taken to another world filled with audial ecstasy.

- Rob Duguay
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Rob's Album of The Week: John Singer Sergeant

4/4/2012

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John Dufilho can very well be one of the best musicians you've never heard of. The multi-instrumentalist from Dallas, TX has his own band called The Deathray Davies and he's also been the drummer for Denver, CO indie band The Apples in Stereo since 2006. Along with being in two bands, Dufilho put out his own self-titled solo record in 2005 along with two eponymous albums under the name I Love Math in 2002 and Getting To The Point Is Beside It in 2008. His brand new album is another eponymous record, this time under the same John Singer Sergeant, after the famous 19th-century portrait artist. Unlike his previous solo and eponymous work, this record just has Dufilho composing, recording and performing backing music with a star-studded variety of musicians providing the vocals to each track.

Featuring the vocal talents of Centro-Matic's Will Johnson, indie/garage rock prodigy Ben Kweller, The Old 97's Rhett Miller, Apples in Stereo band mate Robert Schneider, Death Cab For Cutie's Chris Walla and former member of funk pioneers Kool & The Gang Sir Earl Toon, Dufilho's new album is very unique with the variety of styles and techniques used in each song. One track can sound like a psychedelic space trip while the next one is a disco-funk anthem that will make you jump off your seat and start movin' your feet.



"Big Distortion" is just that, a genuine rock song with Johnson's gravelly voice accented by keyboards that sound like they're from another planet and a steady drumbeat along with an acoustic guitar. "Mountains, Oceans, Elephants" has Kweller singing while strumming his guitar followed up with a soft bass line, rhythmic drums and a psychedelic guitar from Dufilho that reminds me of The Kinks, The Pixies and Pink Floyd all at once. "Jinxed" is a great indie-pop track that has Schneider's hazy voice over what sounds like a tape rewinding, tapping snares and a simple guitar riff. "Dizzy Joy" is funky, sweet and sassy with Sir Eari Toon's silky smooth voice and a groovy guitar that is guaranteed to make you do the boogie right when you hear Toon start the track with a simple "Testing 1,2,1,2,1,2....." Don't take my opinion as gospel though, grab a copy of the record and formulate your own opinion.

Since John Singer Sergeant is pretty much a compilation but with all original songs featuring different musicians, it's very possible that Dufilho won't be going on tour and rocking the stage at your favorite local music venue anytime soon. While you're sulking and wallowing in your sorrow because you'll most likely never see the amazing tracks off of John Dufilho's new album performed live, why don't you wipe those tears away, get up off your sorry ass, and purchase a copy of the album on the glorious internet or at your local record store? John Singer Sergeant will cure those blues right after you press play.
- Rob Duguay
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