TSUNAMI DEBRIS POSES NATIONAL THREAT: GIANT MONSTER ATTACK ON U.S. WEST COAST IMMINENT!

For weeks now, we here at The Haunted Cabaret Show have been doing our patriotic duty to alert the American public to an insidious menace- the danger washing ashore even as we speak, onto California beaches as a result of the earthquake, and resulting tsunami, that wreaked havoc on the nation of Japan last year. The Japanese economy has recovered, with the aid of other countries, primarily the United States.

And How Have We Been Repayed?

Potentially, by the most devastating sneak attack since Japanese planes flew to Hawaii and bombed the Naval base at Pearl Harbor, prompting America's involvement in World War II...

Godzilla. Rodan. King Ghidorah... These names ring a bell?

Granted, unlike Pearl Harbor, this next attack will not be deliberate. But the tsunami that breached several nuclear power plants, washed radioactive Toyotas, major appliances, iPods, and the dismembered remains of countless unfortunate citizens into the Pacific Ocean...And when was the last time something radioactive and Japanese didn't end up attacking a city?

Now this debris crawling with embryonic monsters has reached the land of sand and surfers. Ecologists speak in veiled hints of ''invasive species,'' but a stronger voice is needed to warn of the oncoming terror. We will do our best to be that voice. How long before American cities coast to coast are burned to the ground and trampled underfoot?

You have been warned.

- George Goner

You can join George on the Haunted Cabaret, Wednesday at 9 PM, on 990WBOB.com

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