I was just combing through different topic to write about and came upon this beautiful gem of a story. Gareth Lloyd, a 49 year old man from England made over 5,800 random calls over a 90 day period telling various people that he had his penis stuck in a household object. Thats about 64 calls a day! Who really has the time to sit around and make that many prank calls, let alone about your penis being stuck in something.
Most people who actually do get their unmentioinables stuck in something they don't belong in, would have the first instinct to go to the hospital and get some attention for the "accident". Only Gareth thought it would be funny to call random people and ask them questions about it. Mind you, he never once got anything caught in any household product, but the sheer reaction to answering the phone and hearing the other person talking about getting their penis stuck in a vase or soda bottle.
My first reaction would be like "what the fuck is your junk doing anywhere near something that it could get stuck in" in the first place? Then I would probably laugh histercially at the person who called me and found themselves in such a predicament. I mean come on, really guy? Like you have nothing better to do then call people to discuss your stupidity of getting your palm pilot stuck in a vase? That's fucking rediculous!
Don't worry though folks, he only got sentenced to a period of probation with only resctrictions on phone use. That is a very fitting sentence for a guy who probably mentally scared who knows how many people across the country of England. Next time, people please think about who you would call if that ever happens to you, because I'm sure the pizza guy or hostess at a restaurant will know exactly what to tell you on how to get it out, without laughing uncontrollably at you. People this is the essence of thinking before you act. Take this as a lesson.