As the story of the effect of Radioactive Japanese Tsunami Debris on the West Coast of the United States continues to unfold,events have taken a bizarre and terrifying turn for a young California woman, the Haunted Cabaret has learned.
The woman (who asks that her identity be withheld) claims to be pregnant after coming into contact with "A glowing Japanese-looking sneaker," while swimming nude in an undisclosed location. In an E-mail received at our offices here at 990WBOB.com, she describes the horrifying ordeal.
Gruesomely, the sneaker still contained the bones of a human foot. The woman quickly brought the sneaker to the attention of authorities, but by then the eerie footwear had stopped glowing. Clinical tests later confirmed the woman's pregnancy.
Surprisingly, she has chosen to view the shocking incident in a positive light.
"The sneaker with the skeleton foot in it tells me something tragic took place in the past," she says. " But the memory of the glowing-sneaker guy will be kept alive by my carrying, and eventually giving birth to, his child."
Giant monsters will obviously not be the only result of the ongoing Radioactive Tsunami Waste debacle, nor the only threat to our country and our women.
- George Goner
The Haunted Cabaret