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 We are all guilty, to some level of severity. Germs, the fear, the anxiety, the fascination. Think back to your childhood were dirt, and filth would often be your best friend. Flash forward to present time and I bet you can't go anywere with out germ protection. Hand sanitizer can be found everywhere! In the car, on your desk, in the halls of your office. Whatever the pending fear of germs we all share boils down to. Be it a zombie apocolypse or rare rash, collectively we've gone a little overboard... except in one key area: Public Restrooms.
The US government passes new laws every day to help protect us from ourselves. My opinion on that is a completly different blog. For this piece's sake lets play along with "Big Brother's Protection Campaign" as I offer a helpful proposal. In an effort to keep up with the germaphobe pandemic I lobby for the "Public Piss Hole Bill". A new highly sophistacaed color coded system intendind to keep urine off your toes. Think of all the watering holes you may visit through out this summer or even this week. Although certainly you do not frequent these establishments based on there restrooms, perhaps you should. Alcohol lowers your inhibitions, everyone knows that. Meaning not only are liable to make a poor decision with the opposite sex or otherwise, you also are compromising your sanitation. In many states fire code laws force bars, to have expensive, state of the art, fire protection systems. This logically is to keep us all safe. Then why is it perfectly ok to step in a puddle of piss when it's tome to break the seal? New establishments have clean bathrooms as do most centrally located spots. The major offenders of bathroom disgust are the summer time hotspots. The scenic water beach type holes. The type of place that rakes in what most bars dream about in just a four month seasonal period. The place that hasn't renivated since the house phone was a new commodity yet attracks customers from every direction. The kicker, the main giggle is those same patrons, those thirsty humans who travel for miles to step in some strangers urine. They are you and I. The germophobes who spend the rubbing our hands to rinse away the filth. Under my "Public Piss Hole Bill" these said establishment would be forced to clean up their act. Remove the urinal troughs, mop the floor and most importantly provide a safe clean place to relive one's self. We all do things we may regret while overly enjoying an adult beverage or two. Let's not make taking a leak one of them. - Pal |
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