Notes from the third shift: (insanity on the am)

George Goner

One of the dangers of working third shift, especially a security shift with too much time on your hands, is the temptation to resort to after-midnight A.M. radio. I should know better. I have been here before. But, after checking out the latest blogs on the WBOB webpage, and feeling too tired to read a story by H.P. Lovecraft, and intolerant of the F.M. music playlists, I finally turned to the A.M. band to hear what I might hear. As a philosopher who hated terrestrial radio once said: After such knowledge, what forgiveness? ...Within the hour, lying semi-conscious in the driver's seat of my patrol vehicle, I learned that later this year the Earth will begin to glow and grow rings, like the planet Saturn. We will also experience the "Death of Ignorance" because of a world-wide psychic breakthrough. Finally, in a contradiction worthy of the evangelical Christians, at the same time we will all suffer the agonies of World War III.

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I'm not quite sure how all this comes about. The early-morning A.M. details have been a little vague. Or, perhaps my semi-doze is to blame, and I'm just too tired to appreciate the intricacies and complexities of how an A.M. Radio Conspiracy Universe (RCU) works. Perhaps the Reptilians are involved. I used to be skeptical of the Reptilians, but after viewing recent footage of Hillary Clinton, I begin to find the existence of those leathery-skinned creatures from inner earth much more plausible. (Reptilians are one thing.-I'm still not buying the idea of Planet Earth growing its own set of Saturn-like rings, magnetic pole shift or not!)
While I'm at it, allow me to contribute a small item of information trivia, a nod to the "Death of Ignorance" prophecy mentioned above. It seems the Reptilians date back to the 19th century. They were popularized in a series of novels written by Edgar Rice Burroughs, the creator of Tarzan. In the novels they are called Mahars, from the inner world of Pellucidar. They resemble pterodactyls, and eat naked cave girls. You can see them in action in a B-movie called "At the Earth's Core". Where the conspiracy theorists got the idea these silly things are the rulers of a secret World Government, I have no idea. I'll have to wait for the "Death of Ignorance", and the universal enlightenment that follows, to explain that one!