of goat gods and the olde time religeon

George Goner

So...the dust-up about Satanic statues proves to have legs. Or, in this case, cloven hooves. It's not hard to understand why. This controversy touches a number of sore spots on the delicate psyche of the clueless Fundamental Christian. The kind of idiot who believes dinosaurs sailed on Noah's Ark, for example, or that a dragon with seven heads will eventually rise from the sea (Tokyo Bay, no doubt, where all the best monsters come from). Someone who proclaims that evolution is false, and science evil. In other words, your basic ignorant Christian dickhead, working without a net. New York's Satanic Temple has jabbed this type of person in the buttocks with a sharp stick, and he don't like it. Not one bit. 

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Fundamental Christians have abandoned the teachings of Jesus Christ. This is why they feel so threatened by Satanism, Humanism, Atheism, and any other -ism that contradicts their shallow and wrong-headed modern interpretation of Scripture. If they truly had faith in the power of Christ, they would merely be amused at the idea of the Black Goat sharing equal space with the Ten Commandments (an Old Testament concept, by the way, that Christ himself felt the need to update). After all, according to the Bible, isn't Satan destined to lose? (Some of us, of course, hold a slightly different view about that...Care to wager?) Significantly, serious theologians are staying above the fray, leaving this battle by default to the spiritual lightweights. For the most part, these lightweights are the same conservative Republicans who started the whole mess. There is a very satisfying element of poetic justice at work here.
There is also justice in the Satanic Temple's choice of Baphomet to represent Hell's interests in Oklahoma. The image of the Black Goat predates the Ten Commandments, and indeed the entire Judeo-Christian mythology, by several thousand years. The ancient Greeks knew him as Pan, and offered appropriate ecstatic worship. The Catholic Church designated him a demon, along with the Canaanite Ashtoreth, and enough other ancient deities to answer a long role call of Hell's Infernal Ministers. Unfortunately, however, names and designations don't much matter. Take heed, oh ye of little faith...
It's too soon to say who will win the battle of the Oklahoma statues. In the big picture, the one that counts, we know who must eventually prevail.