If you’re a lazy bloke like any modern American, you’re probably sitting on your duff while watching football all day. Suddenly, you realized that you haven’t got any gifts at all, and now you’re about to crap yourself on your nice couch. Stores close early tonight (Sunday) and tomorrow is Christmas Eve. As if your family hasn’t frowned upon you enough, now you have to go to crowded stores to get something last minute for your loved ones you’re forced to see. But if you’re clever like me, you’d find a way. Popular items are likely scarce, and you are either cheap or broke, so you need something nice, but not too half-assed. As I said before, I’m clever. I got some ideas in mind…
It is the final solution if you can’t think of anything to get a loved one, or you just don’t give a damn. Yes, in that prepaid card from a popular store lies store credit for them to shop for whatever they want, but in that limit. But let’s say you get one for $25. At Burger King, you’d have quite a feast for a few nights, along with more cholesterol. At Barnes and Noble, that’s good for a nice book or two. At Best Buy, eh, enough for a movie, maybe some video game credits, iTunes, and not enough for a new game. So choose wisely where you get a gift card from, and to whom you’re giving it to.
Everybody loves movies. And places are in major supply of them, so it won’t be so difficult to get a new release or any for that matter. And if you pay attention to your family, it would be easier to figure out which genres they would like to watch. Do they love action? Comedy? Maybe a foreign film? Or how about some adult entertainment for your creepy uncle? On average, each DVD is like $10. Go nuts.
Kids may not like it a lot, but for young and older adults, it’s a blessing in disguise. Men need socks and underwear because they either get holes on them or just keep disappearing. Plus they never get around to shopping for new ones. You’re doing them a favor, but hope that you’re the only one giving them socks, otherwise they’ll be miserable receiving nothing but them. And for women, oh I won’t get into it. Blouses, shoes, skimpy lingerie, surprise them with something and hope it’s a smaller size…and can fit in them and feel better about themselves. “Getting some” depends on what you get, so don’t blow it. (no pun intended)
…You know, f#@k it, just give them cash. That’s really what it comes down to anyway.
- "Demon" Matt Little