When WBOB management asked me to write about current affairs in Russia and the defunct Soviet Union, my first thought was, "how would I write a comedic piece about this without horrible puns?" While out at an show in Boston I actually heard a comic make the pun, "Crimea river," in reference to recent news. I also heard a story, off-stage, of Vladimir Putin stealing a Super-Bowl ring? Which then lead me to want to title the my piece, "Putin On The Blitz." However when I was told that I would appear on the society page, I refrained from that sort of journalism. Here is what I know.
On February twenty-seventh, just over a week ago, unidentified pro-Russian troops seized control of most of the Crimean Peninsula in Southeast Ukraine. The troops were alleged to be "local defense forces." A force regulated by the National Guard Bureau, also known as SDF, State Defense Forces. Tensions were rising in the region due to the Ukrainian Revolution and the recent seizure. All of this as the newly installed government in Ukraine began to distance itself from Russia, Russian troops were moved into Crimea by President Vladimir Putin in order to protect their geopolitical interests in the Ukraine. Putin insists that this move was for the protection of ethnic Russians in Crimea, which are a majority of the population there. The irony of the situation is that the Russian Government does not recognize the newly installed interim government in the Ukraine. Furthermore, Russia still considers ousted-president Viktor Yanukovych, the true leader of the Ukraine. Russia also claims that Yanukovych requested Russia to intervene in Ukraine militarily in order to maintain peace and order; an intervention that Putin claims to be "Humanitarian." A shocking claim indeed but not so shocking when you consider the source.
Kraft still has not gotten his ring back. Reading about this incident has it playing over in my head like a Looney Tunes vignette starring a rabbit and a duck. The Duck will never learn, always going after the jewels or falling for the lady rabbits is only going to hurt him in the end. I mean, how many times can you pick your beak back up and screw it back on and live to fight another day? No matter the cause or who is to blame, I hope these countries find a peaceful solution and do not involve our country or other countries in yet another territorial pissing contest. After reading up on the characters in charge, I have my webbed feet crossed on this one.
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