Slut Shaming: An American Tradition?

Mya Destinee

We all see it, multiple times a day. 

Kylie Jenner gets her lips plumped, THAT DAMN SLUT! 

That girl who works at Starbucks smiled at your boyfriend, she’s such a whore. 

OH my GOD! and don’t get me started on that Monica Lewinsky! How DARE she "service" the most powerful man on earth at the ripe old age of... 22. 

It’s a real thing called Slut Shaming. And it’s awful.
Slut Shaming is the mistreatment of a person , most likely a woman, to make her feel guilty about a sex act that falls far from the social sexual norm. Victim blaming is Slut Shaming's creepy twin, a la the Shining, calling out “come play with me” all scary and shit. 


We grow up in it. 

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Women do it to women -- so hardcore sometimes -- it makes you wonder why women hate women so much. A women gets raped, right? So she tells her friends who secretly call her a slut in their heads, then open those mouths and tell her maybe if she just didn’t lead the guy on it would have never happened, and to keep it to herself, because others will think she’s a slut.

BOOM, victim blaming and slut shaming from the people who should be supporting each other.

Do you all see what kind of crap that is? How harmful to all of us this kind of behavior can be?

I’ve been called a slut many  times. For things, normal things like having sex with a person I was sexually attracted to, or participating in orgies or even using a vibrator to get the job done myself. Those are choices I as an adult made, and those acts were something I was physically and emotionally ready for, and I had lots and lots of amazing orgasms during those times.  Am I a slut? Depends on who ya ask, but most people would say, with astounding conviction, YES. I am a slut. Although I use protections EVERY TIME, and I am sexually fulfilled in my life. And NO, I don’t care, call me what you will.

What makes people feel like they have the right to judge other people like that? Is it a way to hide their own shame from that time you shagged a boy that you weren't ready to shag, so now you feel shameful and have the need to project it onto everybody else? Or do you really just want to be bitter and orgasm-less?

Women are taught that their lady bits are like... the holy grail of the universe. Which they are, don’t get me wrong. But we are taught to NOT share our bodies, to NOT enjoy sex, to USE sex as a way to get males to do what you want them to do. 


Growing up in America, you are taught to be shameful of sex. That’s why sex sells here, and not-so-well in other countries. Because sex, in general, is a taboo thing that you shouldn't do. It’s like telling a kid not to eat the cookie, then leaving the child, and the cookie, unattended for a long time.

We hype sex up, magnify it, make it everything, then deny ourselves the pleasure of enjoying it. We deny other people from enjoying it. We assume we know the story or the person, and take it upon ourselves to be the judge and jury, handing down a sentence of embarrassment and heartache to the slut herself.

As a Sexpert, I prescribe more understanding and less hate to remedy this global epidemic of slut shaming and victim blaming. Don’t act like if given the opportunity, you wouldn't sign up for great sex all the time. Don’t act like, if something horrible like sexual assault happened to you, that you wouldn’t want support and help, and understanding and peace with it. Women need to set the example, and stop slut shaming each other.

We have to be happy that there is at least a dialogue happening globally about these issues, and we have to embrace the changes in our society and put into practice what we learn from other people's experiences. We can all be having better, more comfortable sex if we just let it happen!

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