The Democratic Party: Weekend at Bernie’s

Arthur Christopher Schaper

Not a golden oldie, but a cult classic in its own right, “Weekend at Bernie’s” is making a comeback. A strange modern-day slapstick escapade with little critical success, this a box office smash from the late 1980’s not only enjoyed three rereleases, but its latest uploads on YouTube.

The unlikely story featured two young insurance associates, Larry Wilson and Richard Parker, who discover a massive accounting error ($2 million) and report the mistake to their boss, Bernie Lomax. In reality, the mistake was an attempted embezzlement by the same employer, knee-deep in mob connections and all attending troubles. In order to correct the correction, Lomax orders hitmen to take out the associates Wilson and Parker, and he invites them to his weekend retreat under the guise of rewarding them. 

As for the assassins, fearing Lomax’s slip-ups as well as his dalliances with a mob boss’ flame, the mobsters decide to take out Bernie. The two associates show up to Bernie’s place, and find not only their purported benefactor dead, but also discover (through a message left on an answering machine) about his attempt to kill them as soon as he leaves the island.

So, as long as Wilson and Parker can play up the façade of Lomax Living, then Wilson and Parker know that the assassins won’t kill them, but keep trying to kill Bernie. Before they can leave the island, however, all of Bernie’s weekend party friends arrive, and so the two associates are stuck keeping their dead boss alive, where he inadvertently gropes some of the women, tosses around food, knocks into people, and frightens one of the assassins, who to the very end still believes that Bernie is alive, even as the mental hospital hauls him away in a straitjacket.

A hilarious movie which spawned a sequel and rereleases, the now bears its mark on another rerelease, the Clinton Dynasty, and is taking over Democratic Party politics.

First, conservative radio host Hugh Hewitt wittingly noted on Meet the Press:

. . .[O] of course she [Hillary] hadn't been thoroughly vetted. Brent Budowsky calling her the new Nixon, reminded me this is like a New Coke moment as well. . . .It's actually like a Weekend At Bernie's moment. I think that they're afraid that they have a candidate that they have to prop up from now until November of '16. There isn't any substance, there isn't any charisma, and most of all she's not trustworthy. And that's what those polls you showed, the Quinnipiac. She fails on the trustworthy question again and again.

Pundits on “Meet the Press” are officially declaring Hillary Clinton dead on arrival. No spirit, no flare, just a plastic stare, and handlers holding her through the entire campaign process.

A number of Democrats to her Left are demanding a real primary, and even Democratic voters, those who want to like Hillary as well as those who plan on voting for her, at least want her to fight for the nomination, properly vetted and ready to win in 2016.

Perhaps they should rent “Mannequin” or its insipid sequel? Sadly, not medieval charms can bring Hillary to Life.

One of those challengers is. . .Bernie Sanders, the Independent Socialist US Senator from Vermont.

Yes, the Democratic Party will have a Bernie in their 2016 Presidential race. After months of fretting and fussing about, Sanders is betraying his illiberal independence to run as a Democrat, although he had discussed doing as much last November.

Instead of trying to prop up Hillary, however, Democrats now have to explain the unseemly left-wing bent of their party, so out of the mainstream, even for a country where established institutions (academia, courts of law) are forcing recognition of same-sex marriage, government-run healthcare, and gender confusion as the norm.

Sanders is an unapologetic (yet sad and sorry) socialist, who has fraudulently mocked US Senator Rand Paul for defending the individual liberties of medical practitioners against government mandate.  He has routinely blamed the ills of the world on the Koch Brothers, all while turning a blind eye to MoveOn.org’s own George Soros.

Yet Bernie is ironically the core of the Democratic Party, having veered so far to the left, and may in fact become the death of it, just as the left-flank ruined Democratic chances in in 1972, 1980, 1984, and 1988.  Himself propping up a desiccated, mortified ideology which vanished in the dustbin of history over two decades ago, Sanders is convinced, and wants to convict the rest of Americans, that the way to wealth is government stealth, taking from those who have and give to those who have not.

What happens when you run out of other people’s money? Free Market Conservative Margaret Thatcher answered that question in 1979, sweeping out left-leaning Labour in British Elections. Her ideology is still the life of Great Britain, where her somewhat successor David Cameron forced disability recipients to submit for interviews to prove their need. Half dropped off the welfare rolls, and another quarter were deemed ineligible. Eastern European states long ago gave up socialism, and now stand as the only viable member-states in the EU. Socialist countries (even if democratic) are moribund economies as the norm, not the exception.

Is there anything left that the Democratic Party can dress up Bernie and His Socialist presidential aspirations? Democratic handlers could glue Mickey Mouse ears to his head to induce the youth vote, the same way that Wilson and Parker stapled their dead boss’ toupee to his undead head.

With Bernie running to Hillary’s Left, exposing her crony coziness with Wall Street, she will struggle to prop up socialism while trying to kill Bernie’s chances. What youth vote does pay attention, will not vote when Bernie loses the nomination. Should Bernie win, middle-of-the-road Democrats, i.e. anyone who owns a home, a business, or earns a paycheck, will see how far the party has left them, and vote GOP.

Weekend at Bernie’s will be one hell of a party, with a Republican President in 2017.