A listener to the Haunted Cabaret here at 990 WBOB sent me this item from an odd little printed newsletter called "Bayou Denizen:"
Ella Mae Lee, daughter of police chief Orson V. Lee, here in the town of Swampy Knoll, Louisiana, tells the Denizen she was out fishing for crayfish after dark, when her boat was suddenly capsized by a huge catfish "bigger than the boat itself," in the words of the frightened victim. She reports being seized by the face- whiskers of the enormous beast and dragged away to its secluded, muddy lair in the middle of the swamp, where the catfish repeatedly had its way with her.
Ella Mae eventually escaped when the catfish fell asleep. She snuck off and finally arrived at home after hours of desperate wandering. The brave girl managed to tell her story before collapsing into unconsciousness as a result of her terrifying ordeal. Her family has placed a $5000 bounty on the critter. "Dead or alive," says Chief Lee. "Best if it's dead."
I've copy-edited the preceeding piece for clarity. It might be even more entertaining in its original form, but it's just about unreadable that way due to printing errors, spelling, and nonexistent sentence structure. There's no byline, but whoever wrote this little gem has a reserved seat with the Haunted Cabaret.
- George Goner
The Haunted Cabaret
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