Giberti: Equality Means Calling Out Toxic Femininity

Allan Giberti

I’ve been told that I’m a deplorable, privileged man who often exhibits many of the traits of one suffering from toxic masculinity, but imagine how much worse I would be if I were white.

That’s pretty offensive, or at least it should be. It gets worse.

What most people don’t realize- at least not until the part of the narrative that gets more steam- is that if you take into consideration my other minority statuses, I’m not just as bad as my white male counterparts, I’m worse because I inflict that same toxic masculinity on the members of the all the minority groups the left has pigeonholed me in.

If you are a categorized member of some demographic you should familiarize yourself with the term, “self-loathing”. There will be a test later and you can count on failing.

Everyone talks about this toxic male behavior that permeates our society but what is it?

The Good Men Project defines toxic masculinity as “A narrow and repressive description of manhood, designating manhood as defined by violence, sex, status and aggression. It’s the cultural ideal of manliness, where strength is everything, while emotions are a weakness; where sex and brutality are yardsticks by which men are measured, while supposedly “feminine” traits—which can range from emotional vulnerability to simply not being hypersexual—are the means by which your status as “man” can be taken away.”

You know what else is offensive and should be? The fact that no one is talking about feminine toxicity.

It should be not only be offensive to men but to women as well. Women are not innately morally superior to men, and to deny that the problem of feminine toxicity exists is not only an insult to women, but harmful as well. Admitting there’s a problem is the first step in fixing it.

According to Geek Feminism Wiki “There is no such thing as toxic femininity… While abuse by women aimed at adult men exists, it's exceedingly rare, and when it isn't actually self-defense being mischaracterized as an abuse.” And of course, “Abuse by women aimed at children is much more common, but the roots of that abuse are also in patriarchy, not femininity.”

You can define aspects of both man and womanhood by violence, sex, status and aggression. You absolutely can, because to not do so would not only be sexist but a lie.

Proponents of toxic masculinity constantly remind us that men must keep quiet about abuse from women, lest they are emasculated by their peers, but are conveniently silent when it comes to the abuse itself.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey, 33.6% of men in the U.S. have experienced contact sexual violence, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner and 34.2% of men have experienced psychological aggression intimate partner during their lifetime.

Women commit sex crimes as well. How often have we heard of a female teacher sexually assaulting a student? Women sexually assault men as well, 24.8% of men in the US have experienced some form of contact sexual violence in their lifetime.
Many people focus on the fact that men commit acts of violence and sexual violence more frequently than women. It cannot, and should not, be dismissed.

However, the last two feminine toxic traits, aggression and status, has brought us to the ugly place they call feminism today. Where women will never rise above the status of victim and all things male are evil. While women may not be as physically aggressive as men, but “they typically engage in relational aggression, also known as covert bullying.”  

It’s when you try to hurt someone by hurting their relationships or social status and speaking of status, what womanly stuff are women expected to do to be considered an actual woman? That’s a difficult one because the idea of what a woman is has changed over the recent decades as women gained equality and broke through many barriers and some will tell you it’s still shaped by the patriarchy. However, until recently, it’s been the media’s interpretation of what constitutes not just a woman or a “modern” woman which prevails, but a nasty woman. This is the prevailing form of feminine toxicity everyone of us are subject to, now on a daily basis. How did this become the prevailing rhetoric?

Hillary Clinton, who in one breath claimed she was not “just some little woman standing by her man,” looked the other way as her husband left a trail of sexual abuse victims in his path. She is viewed by many as a champion because women will always be victims; Rep. Maxine Waters called for people to publicly confront and intimidate the Trump administration; Rosie O’Donnell claims President Trump has taken away women’s rights. Madonna has “thought an awful lot about blowing up the White House.”; We must believe every woman, but Juanita Broaddrick.  

Alyssa Milano tweets: “The red MAGA hat is the new white hood. Without white boys being able to empathize with other people, humanity will continue to destroy itself.” and the newest poster child for toxic femininity, Kathy Griffin, tweets: “I want NAMES. Shame them. If you think these f’rs wouldn’t dox you in a heartbeat, think again.” She also recently deleted tweet in which she claimed the Covington Catholic High School basketball team was using a new nazi sign, or more commonly known as a “three-point” symbol.

According to one study, “higher peer status and popularity have been shown to be related to girls’ use of relational aggression… female peers are accepting and possibly attracted toward associating with highly relationally-aggressive and more proactive aggressive girls. Although these girls may not be liked, they may still attract high peer status,” and another study shows a correlation between relational aggression viewed on TV and future relational aggression.

The feminist movement has been hijacked by mean girls. This is why we don’t talk about it, because it’s right there in front of your face. A group that wants to force an entire other group to have more “feminine” traits while promoting the toxic “male” traits they claim to abhor.

Let’s just stop it right there and call it what it is. It’s not toxic masculinity or femininity, it’s toxic behavior. Men and women are guilty of the same sins, there aren’t male and female sins. They’re sins. Violent behavior, aggression they’re not gender specific, can we stop pretending that they are.
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If we want equality, then we have to admit that we are equal. The bad as well as the good.

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